Thursday, December 28, 2006

I Belong There........or Do I?

It was a huge party. Really huge. Not only in arrangements, but also emotionally huge. It was the 50 years celebration of our school. It was an all day program at the best convention center of the country. It was great. All of my friends were there. As well as known schoolmates from different batches, and most importantly our beloved teachers. Me, my elder brother and sister all three passed from this school, we belong there, I belong there.
The program was mostly a typical cultaral event. It ended with performances from professional musicians (popular bands of the country). To most of the people, it was just what they wanted. But I've retired from listening to music, so I was just passing the occasion just for being present in the huge event of my school. I should be there. I loved my school, my teachers, my friends. I was there, but did I belong there? Really belong?
At the closing stages of the band show I looked around. Boys and girls of all ages dancing, hand in hand, banging there heads, throwing there arms, moving there body , as if they were drunk! Well, it was anything but human. And guess what, this program started with recitation from the Holy Quran!
I was just sitting there and watching. The performers on stage were drug addicts, the stage was full of colored lights and smoke, boys and girls jumping around crazy everywhere, and I knew it, I didn't belong there. I was there with them, yet not with them. In an auditorium full of people, I felt dead alone. Allah knows I felt alone. And only He was with me. The only thing I could do at the moment was to pray within my mind to Allah for guidance. I didn't have a single friend there who shared the same feeling as me. Nor did I see anyone around me who was sitting there as me. Yes, I was alone, really alone. And it's tough being alone.